New relationship going really well, my next week's holidays at the beginning of December, were to be spent in London together! We would have a weekend in Birmingham with mutual friends and then the rest of the week at home.
Ahh global warming was set to scupper that plan!! Or should I say global freezing!!
The end of November saw the big freeze set in! We had snow storms with thunder and lightening during them!! We had temperatures of -17c
We had snow.... Lots of it! There was even a day that I could not get to work because of it. I fell on the ice a few times, sometimes minor, once pretty major. Roads and bridges were closed but most importantly so was Edinburgh airport!!
As it got closer to my flight date it looked more and more unlikely. Easyjet would not cancel flights till last minute so alternative plans could not be made. We set ourselves up for disappointment.
The day of the flight it was actually Gatwick's closure which caused the cancellation but Easyjet would only let me change the London airport and still insisted I flew from Edinburgh, which was closed but only for two hours in advance at any time. They would not close it for the day! It was obvious to everyone it would not open except Easyjet!
I spoke to my son, the boy wonder, would he fancy driving me to Glasgow airport which was still open?
Yeah, he'd give it a go! Well the boy drove his socks off :D he drove through snow conditions that even me as an experienced driver would have hesitated to go through. It took twice the time it would normally take but we made it!!
I didn't tell my new partner that I was getting the flight, I would surprise him!!
And boy did I do that!!
With help from a lovely mutual friend, I made it across London via bus, train, tube and on foot to surprise the poor guy and just about gave him a heart attack :)
He had been so disappointed that I would not be coming down that I'm afraid to say he was wallowing in his room, unshaven and dejected! It took him half an hour to say anything except "but, but, but, how??"
Best surprise I have ever pulled out of the bag and so glad I did it. Wonderful trip!
Worth every penny and four cancelled flights 2 down country and 2 return!!! :)
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Friday, 5 November 2010
New beginning...
My trip continues...
From Cambridge to Southampton, it looked easy on map... Although Southampton was such a huge place. I'd been to my aunt's in Southampton many times but never driven there! However, it actually was much easier than I thought. I didn't start to shake till I was out of the car outside the house :)
Sanctuary comes in many guises, my aunt, stil mourning her beloved brother, was very glad to have company and although I wasn't the brightest spark in her life, we get on really well and did each other a lot of good!
A person I had talked to a few times online was talking on the phone while I was there. We had a lot in common not just that he was a Scot living in England. We liked the same music, films and had a similar sense of humour :D
Out of the blue he said he would come down to Southampton from London the next day!! Now to be honest I didn't really believe he would. It was a long trip on a Sunday afternoon. Next day came and he set off but was delayed by traffic for hours!! Not believing he would make it, I fell asleep!! Imagine my surprise at getting a call to say he was in the city!!!
We had a lovely meeting, nearly 5 hours together, which felt like no more than 1 :)
By the time he left for the return trip, we were even firmer friends than before and a spark had been ignited!
When I returned to Scotland we were in daily contact and already arranging another meeting!
Within the month we had met again and this time, there was no doubt of how we were beginning to feel about each other. The future was looking so much more promising... Would it be possible to end a terrible year with a new start?
From Cambridge to Southampton, it looked easy on map... Although Southampton was such a huge place. I'd been to my aunt's in Southampton many times but never driven there! However, it actually was much easier than I thought. I didn't start to shake till I was out of the car outside the house :)
Sanctuary comes in many guises, my aunt, stil mourning her beloved brother, was very glad to have company and although I wasn't the brightest spark in her life, we get on really well and did each other a lot of good!
A person I had talked to a few times online was talking on the phone while I was there. We had a lot in common not just that he was a Scot living in England. We liked the same music, films and had a similar sense of humour :D
Out of the blue he said he would come down to Southampton from London the next day!! Now to be honest I didn't really believe he would. It was a long trip on a Sunday afternoon. Next day came and he set off but was delayed by traffic for hours!! Not believing he would make it, I fell asleep!! Imagine my surprise at getting a call to say he was in the city!!!
We had a lovely meeting, nearly 5 hours together, which felt like no more than 1 :)
By the time he left for the return trip, we were even firmer friends than before and a spark had been ignited!
When I returned to Scotland we were in daily contact and already arranging another meeting!
Within the month we had met again and this time, there was no doubt of how we were beginning to feel about each other. The future was looking so much more promising... Would it be possible to end a terrible year with a new start?
Friday, 1 October 2010
Closure
So work continued night after night till mid September when I had to take annual leave because my holidays for the year were needing used up.
I spent a lovely few days in Ireland visiting old friends before coming home and preparing for the road trip I was dreading.
When my ex partner left the house, he took a lot of stuff with him, some of which did not belong to him, but he also left property which he knew he could not be without. His plan, I am sure, was to retrieve this at a later date whereby giving himself the opportunity to persuade me to change my mind and stay with him. This would have involved leaving my friends and family and, as also became apparent in a very short time, being step mother to his 8 year old daughter.
He found himself unable to collect the property himself and, as I wished closure, I agreed to drive my car south to England and deliver it. Stupidly I believed his promise to pay a share of my expenses. It would involve a trip of 420 miles that I had never undertaken before. Never having travelled on my own outside Scotland, this would be a daunting trip.
My daughter requested to join me on the journey and although concerned with her health issues I agreed and was glad of the company.
We purchased a satnav ;) all I had to do was listen to it :)
Half way south we stopped to visit friends in Co Durham, a brief but wonderful interlude in what was to turn out to be a stressful day!
To cut a long story short, I was met at my ex partners new house by a member of her majesty's constabulary! Apparently they had been told I was going to cause a breach of the peace when he pled poverty and said he could not contribute to the trip costs! Laughable that the shaved headed, tattooed 6ft 2" tall muscular bloke who had controlled my life for the last 3 years needed protection from ME:)
He refused to return most of my things and mr policeman said he could do nothing so calmly we drove away from there, hopefully never to see or hear him again!
Yes, I had a bad evening alone after my daughter continued her trip by train to Kent, but I was free.
I spent a lovely few days in Ireland visiting old friends before coming home and preparing for the road trip I was dreading.
When my ex partner left the house, he took a lot of stuff with him, some of which did not belong to him, but he also left property which he knew he could not be without. His plan, I am sure, was to retrieve this at a later date whereby giving himself the opportunity to persuade me to change my mind and stay with him. This would have involved leaving my friends and family and, as also became apparent in a very short time, being step mother to his 8 year old daughter.
He found himself unable to collect the property himself and, as I wished closure, I agreed to drive my car south to England and deliver it. Stupidly I believed his promise to pay a share of my expenses. It would involve a trip of 420 miles that I had never undertaken before. Never having travelled on my own outside Scotland, this would be a daunting trip.
My daughter requested to join me on the journey and although concerned with her health issues I agreed and was glad of the company.
We purchased a satnav ;) all I had to do was listen to it :)
Half way south we stopped to visit friends in Co Durham, a brief but wonderful interlude in what was to turn out to be a stressful day!
To cut a long story short, I was met at my ex partners new house by a member of her majesty's constabulary! Apparently they had been told I was going to cause a breach of the peace when he pled poverty and said he could not contribute to the trip costs! Laughable that the shaved headed, tattooed 6ft 2" tall muscular bloke who had controlled my life for the last 3 years needed protection from ME:)
He refused to return most of my things and mr policeman said he could do nothing so calmly we drove away from there, hopefully never to see or hear him again!
Yes, I had a bad evening alone after my daughter continued her trip by train to Kent, but I was free.
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Work and home
The return to Scotland was a terrible trip. I could not fault British Airways, it was the passengerse that were at fault. People taking more than their space in their seats, sprawling across each other...and me. A woman being sick while holding a baby while her husband sat in the opposite seat doing his crossword.
I returned to work after a few days to recover from the jetlag. My colleagues were good but my manager less so. Aparently I was not to be given comapssionate leave because she had told me to get a sick line and I had done as she asked, therefore it could not be changed.e great as always
She knew about the events as they happened because I kept her informed.
The children at work are great as always.
Nightshifts every night until mid September now.
I returned to work after a few days to recover from the jetlag. My colleagues were good but my manager less so. Aparently I was not to be given comapssionate leave because she had told me to get a sick line and I had done as she asked, therefore it could not be changed.e great as always
She knew about the events as they happened because I kept her informed.
The children at work are great as always.
Nightshifts every night until mid September now.
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Canada
Canada was as always...fantastic.
The boys (my cousin and his partner but who I always refer to as the boys), were amazing.
They left me to my own space, I had company when I wanted it, hugs when I needed them, peace when nothing but solitude would help.
We saw the stage musical, the Lion King, wow, fantastic, I cried my eyes out through a lot of it, but the subject of Simba losing his father was all too close to me at that point. I am so glad I saw it though.
We had a break on Vancouver Island which, to me, always feels like going home, and even the dog, my new friend Dougal, got to come too.
The boys arranged for us to stay at the Delta in Victoria, a room for me all to myself, with a view overlooking the harbour! I cried again, just because of their thoughtfulness and generosity. I was not allowed to do or pay for anything, they had told my family they would treat me like a queen, and they did!!
I missed my Dad at times when it caught me off guard. Seeing old motorbikes and thinking, oh, must take a picture for Dad, then sinking realising he would never see it. Seeing things we would have talked about, doing things we would have discussed. Places he had seen and we had seen.
Never expected it to be so hard, never expected it to be so soon.
I delayed my trip home, I was having panic attacks at the thought of being alone at home with Mum's birthday so soon. I stayed on longer but with the best support I could ever have had. I will never be able to thank my boys enough!
The boys (my cousin and his partner but who I always refer to as the boys), were amazing.
They left me to my own space, I had company when I wanted it, hugs when I needed them, peace when nothing but solitude would help.
We saw the stage musical, the Lion King, wow, fantastic, I cried my eyes out through a lot of it, but the subject of Simba losing his father was all too close to me at that point. I am so glad I saw it though.
We had a break on Vancouver Island which, to me, always feels like going home, and even the dog, my new friend Dougal, got to come too.
The boys arranged for us to stay at the Delta in Victoria, a room for me all to myself, with a view overlooking the harbour! I cried again, just because of their thoughtfulness and generosity. I was not allowed to do or pay for anything, they had told my family they would treat me like a queen, and they did!!
I missed my Dad at times when it caught me off guard. Seeing old motorbikes and thinking, oh, must take a picture for Dad, then sinking realising he would never see it. Seeing things we would have talked about, doing things we would have discussed. Places he had seen and we had seen.
Never expected it to be so hard, never expected it to be so soon.
I delayed my trip home, I was having panic attacks at the thought of being alone at home with Mum's birthday so soon. I stayed on longer but with the best support I could ever have had. I will never be able to thank my boys enough!
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
What a difference a year makes!
Wow, where do I start?
Everything was going fairly smoothly till February ... my birthday although not the smoothest of times passed fairly quietly. Steve and I having a few problems but put them aside for a weekend off. I had a week's holidays so was looking forward to a bit of a rest.
Got a call from my Dad, Friday 12 Feb, he finally, after months of argueing that he 'can manage', admits he can't do it anymore! Mum's Alzheimers' and Parkinsons' had escalated to where she was almost totally incapable of even standing. She could no longer walk or feed herself and was totally incontinent.
I rushed to the house to find him distraught about the situation, I assured him he had done more already than any man could do alone but it wasn't enough to make him feel better. I called the doctor, who came out to the house and admitted that Mum needed hospitalisation, at least short term, and she was admitted, firstly to the city hospital (where I worked) and the next day, to a more local hospital closer to Dad.
Relaxing slightly I began the process of finding a care home Dad would be happy for Mum to be in, close to him where he could visit daily. I returned to work but visited mum daily if I could. She was as well as anyone could be in her condition and was looked after well, I could not complain about the staff or conditions, the rooms were lovely.
We had a problem with the Council care manager who would not accept the power of attorney written up 5 years earlier by a local solicitor but eventually we had a meeting where it was agreed and a date set for Tuesday 13th April to move her to the nursing home. She was never to make that trip.
Mum passed away on Friday 9th April, peacefully, as I sat with her, telling her it was all going to be ok. She had aspirated on the Monday and by Wednesday I had to call my brother in England to tell him to come straight up. She was gone by Friday night. Some might say a relief for her not to suffer but it was no relief for us, her family and my Dad in particular. He seriously struggled with losing her after 50 years together, she was 70 years old.
Three weeks later my daughter hit a crisis and had to be given help and is improving slowly.
8 weeks after Mum's passing and Dad was beginning to feel better about going out places and seeing friends again. I had been back at work three weeks at that point, we felt his pain was easing.... and then it all went wrong.
My brother's partner phoned me, Dad was acting strangely, he had gone to my brother's for tea as always on Saturday night, he ate all his tea but was making no sense. Confused, flushed. I raced along to the house, convinced it would be an infection..... something simple.... treatable by antibiotics iv.... no problems....I was wrong.
A stroke...ischaemic first, killing off brain cells, but recoverable from. He was still walking and talking, no weakness, he walked to the ambulance, confused but ok. I tried to get the doctors to scan him but they said he was stable, no concerns till morning....they'd do it then, that way they wouldn't have to call in an on call radiologist. By morning when I returned, a second stroke, a massive haemorrhage had filled his poor brain with a massive bleed. Full right side weakness, drooping mouth, incapable of communicating. Pressure built up throughout the day and overnight he had a life saving operation, going straight to Intensive care at 3am and staying there for 3 days. Moved to HDU he survived a further 2 weeks before passing away on 25th June, aged 73 years. All the family together with him, including his little sister. Not an easy passing, probably the saddest, most traumatic event ever in my life.
While I was at my Dad's house the next day organising the funeral, my partner of 4 years left our home together, taking half the house contents. It was a mutual agreement but painful, timing was not good.
My wonderful cousins arrived for the second time from Canada, to rescue me from the despair I was in danger of falling deeper into. I could not have gotten through this time without them!
I was persuaded that my trip to Canada, which I had cancelled due to Dad's illness, and which was due to happen on 27th June, would be still happening. I travelled with them to Canada.
Everything was going fairly smoothly till February ... my birthday although not the smoothest of times passed fairly quietly. Steve and I having a few problems but put them aside for a weekend off. I had a week's holidays so was looking forward to a bit of a rest.
Got a call from my Dad, Friday 12 Feb, he finally, after months of argueing that he 'can manage', admits he can't do it anymore! Mum's Alzheimers' and Parkinsons' had escalated to where she was almost totally incapable of even standing. She could no longer walk or feed herself and was totally incontinent.
I rushed to the house to find him distraught about the situation, I assured him he had done more already than any man could do alone but it wasn't enough to make him feel better. I called the doctor, who came out to the house and admitted that Mum needed hospitalisation, at least short term, and she was admitted, firstly to the city hospital (where I worked) and the next day, to a more local hospital closer to Dad.
Relaxing slightly I began the process of finding a care home Dad would be happy for Mum to be in, close to him where he could visit daily. I returned to work but visited mum daily if I could. She was as well as anyone could be in her condition and was looked after well, I could not complain about the staff or conditions, the rooms were lovely.
We had a problem with the Council care manager who would not accept the power of attorney written up 5 years earlier by a local solicitor but eventually we had a meeting where it was agreed and a date set for Tuesday 13th April to move her to the nursing home. She was never to make that trip.
Mum passed away on Friday 9th April, peacefully, as I sat with her, telling her it was all going to be ok. She had aspirated on the Monday and by Wednesday I had to call my brother in England to tell him to come straight up. She was gone by Friday night. Some might say a relief for her not to suffer but it was no relief for us, her family and my Dad in particular. He seriously struggled with losing her after 50 years together, she was 70 years old.
Three weeks later my daughter hit a crisis and had to be given help and is improving slowly.
8 weeks after Mum's passing and Dad was beginning to feel better about going out places and seeing friends again. I had been back at work three weeks at that point, we felt his pain was easing.... and then it all went wrong.
My brother's partner phoned me, Dad was acting strangely, he had gone to my brother's for tea as always on Saturday night, he ate all his tea but was making no sense. Confused, flushed. I raced along to the house, convinced it would be an infection..... something simple.... treatable by antibiotics iv.... no problems....I was wrong.
A stroke...ischaemic first, killing off brain cells, but recoverable from. He was still walking and talking, no weakness, he walked to the ambulance, confused but ok. I tried to get the doctors to scan him but they said he was stable, no concerns till morning....they'd do it then, that way they wouldn't have to call in an on call radiologist. By morning when I returned, a second stroke, a massive haemorrhage had filled his poor brain with a massive bleed. Full right side weakness, drooping mouth, incapable of communicating. Pressure built up throughout the day and overnight he had a life saving operation, going straight to Intensive care at 3am and staying there for 3 days. Moved to HDU he survived a further 2 weeks before passing away on 25th June, aged 73 years. All the family together with him, including his little sister. Not an easy passing, probably the saddest, most traumatic event ever in my life.
While I was at my Dad's house the next day organising the funeral, my partner of 4 years left our home together, taking half the house contents. It was a mutual agreement but painful, timing was not good.
My wonderful cousins arrived for the second time from Canada, to rescue me from the despair I was in danger of falling deeper into. I could not have gotten through this time without them!
I was persuaded that my trip to Canada, which I had cancelled due to Dad's illness, and which was due to happen on 27th June, would be still happening. I travelled with them to Canada.
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