Wow, where do I start?
Everything was going fairly smoothly till February ... my birthday although not the smoothest of times passed fairly quietly. Steve and I having a few problems but put them aside for a weekend off. I had a week's holidays so was looking forward to a bit of a rest.
Got a call from my Dad, Friday 12 Feb, he finally, after months of argueing that he 'can manage', admits he can't do it anymore! Mum's Alzheimers' and Parkinsons' had escalated to where she was almost totally incapable of even standing. She could no longer walk or feed herself and was totally incontinent.
I rushed to the house to find him distraught about the situation, I assured him he had done more already than any man could do alone but it wasn't enough to make him feel better. I called the doctor, who came out to the house and admitted that Mum needed hospitalisation, at least short term, and she was admitted, firstly to the city hospital (where I worked) and the next day, to a more local hospital closer to Dad.
Relaxing slightly I began the process of finding a care home Dad would be happy for Mum to be in, close to him where he could visit daily. I returned to work but visited mum daily if I could. She was as well as anyone could be in her condition and was looked after well, I could not complain about the staff or conditions, the rooms were lovely.
We had a problem with the Council care manager who would not accept the power of attorney written up 5 years earlier by a local solicitor but eventually we had a meeting where it was agreed and a date set for Tuesday 13th April to move her to the nursing home. She was never to make that trip.
Mum passed away on Friday 9th April, peacefully, as I sat with her, telling her it was all going to be ok. She had aspirated on the Monday and by Wednesday I had to call my brother in England to tell him to come straight up. She was gone by Friday night. Some might say a relief for her not to suffer but it was no relief for us, her family and my Dad in particular. He seriously struggled with losing her after 50 years together, she was 70 years old.
Three weeks later my daughter hit a crisis and had to be given help and is improving slowly.
8 weeks after Mum's passing and Dad was beginning to feel better about going out places and seeing friends again. I had been back at work three weeks at that point, we felt his pain was easing.... and then it all went wrong.
My brother's partner phoned me, Dad was acting strangely, he had gone to my brother's for tea as always on Saturday night, he ate all his tea but was making no sense. Confused, flushed. I raced along to the house, convinced it would be an infection..... something simple.... treatable by antibiotics iv.... no problems....I was wrong.
A stroke...ischaemic first, killing off brain cells, but recoverable from. He was still walking and talking, no weakness, he walked to the ambulance, confused but ok. I tried to get the doctors to scan him but they said he was stable, no concerns till morning....they'd do it then, that way they wouldn't have to call in an on call radiologist. By morning when I returned, a second stroke, a massive haemorrhage had filled his poor brain with a massive bleed. Full right side weakness, drooping mouth, incapable of communicating. Pressure built up throughout the day and overnight he had a life saving operation, going straight to Intensive care at 3am and staying there for 3 days. Moved to HDU he survived a further 2 weeks before passing away on 25th June, aged 73 years. All the family together with him, including his little sister. Not an easy passing, probably the saddest, most traumatic event ever in my life.
While I was at my Dad's house the next day organising the funeral, my partner of 4 years left our home together, taking half the house contents. It was a mutual agreement but painful, timing was not good.
My wonderful cousins arrived for the second time from Canada, to rescue me from the despair I was in danger of falling deeper into. I could not have gotten through this time without them!
I was persuaded that my trip to Canada, which I had cancelled due to Dad's illness, and which was due to happen on 27th June, would be still happening. I travelled with them to Canada.
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